What You Should (and Shouldn’t) Bring if You’re Invited to Dinner: Here’s What Etiquette Says

Etiquette is that set of norms and rules that it would be good to follow when having a meal with a partner. The etiquette gives suggestions on the most varied topics, from how to set the table to how to eat fish, and also explains what the best behavior is if you are invited to dinner.

In fact, when you go to someone's house, there are good rules to follow to be the perfect guest. In particular, etiquette is of great help when it comes to presenting yourself with a gift, and explains what is polite to bring and what would be better to avoid. According to etiquette, in fact, it is not obligatory to show up with a little gift for the hosts, but it is considered a polite and good manners gesture.

Is It Always Right to Bring a Gift? When it is Needed and When it is Not Needed

According to etiquette, if the invitation comes from friends we see often or from family members, it is not necessary to bring a gift. On all other occasions, however, it is good manners to not show up empty-handed, but be careful to not overdo it: experts say that one of the most common mistakes is bringing too many things.

If you show up with too many gifts, the owners might think it's a way to "repay" the meal, and it would definitely be in bad taste. The meaning of bringing a gift must simply be a way of saying "thank you for the invitation".

What Kind of Gift to Bring: Food is Fine, but it Depends on the Occasion

Now that you know when it is appropriate to bring a gift with you, you need to decide what type of gift to choose: obviously a lot depends on the type of dinner you are invited to, but also on the level of confidence you have with the hosts. The higher it is, the more suitable gastronomic gifts are.

In this case, however, you have to choose very carefully: according to etiquette, in fact, only some foods are suitable to be brought as a gift. In general, to avoid mistakes, it is better to bring something extra so as to not run the risk of having duplicates on the table: something tasty to eat as an appetizer or after dinner is perfect, but always in small portions.

If you really want to bring something more substantial, it's better to agree with the hosts first (but only if you have enough confidence): for example, when accepting the invitation, you can tell the hosts "I'll come and bring dessert".

Bringing Wine as a Gift: Yes or No?

It was once considered rude to show up with something to drink, but today the rules of good taste have changed: it's fine to give a bottle as a gift, but it doesn't mean you can show up with any type of wine. According to the label, if you don't know precisely what the menu includes, it's better to focus on a jack-of-all-trades that goes well with everything, such as sparkling wine. Or, if you want to be a little more original, you can opt for an after-meal liqueur with unique flavours, a gift that can also become a fun tasting experience to enjoy together.

What to Give Besides Food: Bon Ton Approved Gifts

If you don't want to bring food, or you don't have enough confidence with the hosts to do so, etiquette suggests some advice on approved gifts, and on those that would be best if avoided.

Plants and flowers are always a good idea, especially if for example it is the first time you go to someone's house, because they are considered a good omen. Books are also good, because they are a symbol of culture: to avoid risks, it's better to focus on the latest bestsellers, but if you know the hosts' tastes, choose something more targeted.

However, stay away from gifting ornaments or home furnishings: these are very personal decoration elements, and the risk of giving something that pleases you and not the person receiving the gift is very high. It is also better to avoid gifts that are too witty: humor is not the same for everyone, and something that might make you laugh could embarrass others.